


Optical Cobalt

by bikelock28



Category: Doctor Who, Doctor Who & Related Fandoms, Doctor Who (2005)
Genre: BAMF River Song, F/M, Love, POV TARDIS, Sex in a TARDIS
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-10
Updated: 2018-10-10
Packaged: 2019-07-29 00:47:50
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,509
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16253210
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bikelock28/pseuds/bikelock28
Summary: "Your Child has always been troublesome. It started right from the moment she came into existence, when she wasn't supposed to be your Child but she absorbed your energy anyway". TARDIS' PoV on 11/River post-tWoRS.





	Optical Cobalt

**Author's Note:**

> I rarely write something all in one go but this was begging to be written. It was an absolute blast writing in the TARDIS' PoV. This is set some time after 6.13 The Wedding Of River Song. T for sex, although nothing too explicit. I loved writing this, so I hope you enjoy.

Your Child has always been troublesome. It started right from the moment she came into existence, when she wasn't supposed to be your Child but she absorbed your energy anyway. You didn't see her for a long time after that, although you had seen her before. The first time she stepped into you and knew she was...well, you don't understand all those family words so you weren't sure what she was, but you knew that she fitted with you. When she touched you it felt right, like her feet belonged on your floor and her quick hands belonged on your console. It was odd in a way you didn't understand. And then she flew you. She knew how to fly you, and you were so amazed that you let her. It was smoother than Thief's driving (although of course you prefer his). And when she flew you into danger and you liked her even more. At another time (you think it was after, although Child is so confusing, her time is different to Thief's and even to yours) she was trapped inside you in a loop. You tried to help but there was nothing you could do. But Thief got you out of it, of course. You love your thief. Child (although of course you didn't call her Child then. You called her Hair) made Thief happy, and you liked her because of that, too. But oh, she was trouble. She talked to Thief like nobody else dares, she never did as he told her. Just like you. But you're always there when he needs you and one time Child wasn't, and then she was ever so naughty and made all of time happen at once. That hurt you on the outside. You are a time machine and all of time was happening and once and your systems were going too much and your systems were not going at all. But you knew that Child was supposed to kill Thief, and that hurt your insides so much more. But Thief is clever, Thief tricked everybody and Thief did not die. By then you knew that Child was Child and you understood why, and Thief and Child kissed on top of a pyramid and time started working again and you were alive and right and Thief, sneaky Thief, did not die.

And now Child is being ever so bad again and she has trapped Thief between your outside wall and her body and she is kissing him. He is kissing her, too. Thief's mouth is on Child's and his back is on you. How odd. Sometimes people kiss Thief when he does not want to be kissed. Orange did it once. The girl with your name in the wrong order did once (Thief kissed her back eventually, but only after she was dead). Child did once too. That was sad because Child wanted to kiss Thief, and Thief did not want to kiss Child because he did not know who she was. Child was sad. You understand that now, because when you had a body you wanted to kiss Thief and he did not know who you were. That was sad. It was sad that he did not want to touch you. He has never done that before. But you had a mouth and you could talk. You had never done that before. You told him you were his TARDIS and his Old Girl and his Sexy. Then he knew why you wanted to kiss him. But your body died before you could do it again and now you are back in your box where you belong and where you cannot talk to him properly but he is there and he can hear you. You are back in your box where Child can push Thief against you while she kisses him and he kisses her because he wants to do that now. They have been kissing a lot lately, the last few times she has been here. Thief pretends he does not kiss a lot of people but he does actually, but he has kissed Child a lot and for a long time and a lot of different times, which is not usual. Thief looks happy when he kisses Child. Thief looks happy when he is with Child, and Child looks so happy when she is with Thief. You know the feeling.

Thief's back on your outside is odd. Or maybe it is his back against your front. How peculiar. And Child's front against his front. You don't often feel Thief from this angle. A lot of him is touching you, from his hair down to his black. Legs, he has legs. That's what they're called. You had legs too once, it was ever so exciting. You weren't sure how to steer and you suddenly understood why this Thief is always stumbling and tripping over. Child is making noises with her mouth. Strange, because her mouth is on Thief's mouth. Perhaps mouths can do more than one thing at once. You never had time find out when you had a mouth. Thief is also moving a bit, his body swaying side-to-side against Child, against you. It feels happy and nice. Thief has both his hands around Child's back. Child has one hand on Thief's blue and one on his face. His hilarious chin. He's ever so handsome. Child thinks so too. Although perhaps not in the same way you do.

Child moves her face away from Thief's and looks at him very happy. Thief tips his lead back against you some more. Child says something, grabs Thief's hand and pulls him through your door. Thief looks funny when she does that, probably because its usually him who grabs hands and runs. Child makes Thief think in such different ways. Their feet are on you now. Thief's are big and flappy. Child's are not as pointy this time. Sometimes are feet are so pointy. But they do not hurt you, because you feel things differently to people. Besides, your floor is hard. Child and Thief are kissing again. Child mumbles his name. His Doctor name, you mean. Doctor. The Doctor. This what he calls himself, but to you he will always be Thief. It is your special  _you_  name for him, the name only you call him. You are his Thief too, of course. More than he is yours. Child has a special name for him too. She often says it with that big, complicated word you were so desperate to tell him. Hello. Hello. Hellohellohellohello. You wish you had remembered it faster when you had a body. You would have screamed it at him again and again. HELLO DOCTOR. HELLO THIEF. HELLO MY BEAUTIFUL IDIOT.

Child is pulling Thief again. The sight is one you are familiar with, as Orange does it to Pretty sometimes. Child scurries through your corridors with Thief in tow. She finds her room- one you weren't aware of the first time she flew you, but which was there anyway. Usually the Strays never think they know where their rooms are but they find them anyway. You didn't know where Child's room was but she found it anyway. Such a mischievous Child. She drags Thief into the room and kisses him some more and they say things to each other, and then she starts pealing his clothes off. She has a very very naughty face when she does it. Thief's face is lots of things. One of these things is scared but a happy sort of scared. They are saying words to each other but they keep stopping to kiss. Child has taken off Thief's brownish and his bow tie and his strappy things and his blue. He has nothing on top now. Child is looking at his nothing-on-top with her happy naughty face on (you, of course, see him in nothing every morning when he gets dressed). Thief is touching Child's on-top but he does not know what to do. Child does it for him until she is nothing-on-top either. Her nothing-on-top is smaller but bigger than his at the same time. Child sits on Thief's legs (he's got legs. That's what they're called) and kisses him and says words to him. You know what they are doing, of course. You have seen people do this before. Orange and Pretty do. They do not like doing it on the bunkbeds. You like Orange and Pretty but that is ungrateful. You are surprised to see Thief do this. Oh, he has done it before, you know, plenty of times. You should not be surprised then, but you are but you do not know why. Thief and Child are lying down now. Child is making herself and Thief nothing-on-bottom. She is touching him a lot. He is touching her a bit and then not and then again. What they are doing (you do not know what it is called) is supposed to be very nice. When people do it they make noise and do faces like it hurts. This has scared you in the past, but now you know that it is because they are happy. This is something about having a body which you do not understand. Thief is smiling now, and kissing Child. You hope that he is not going to make noises and faces like it hurts, because even if he is not hurting you do not like him to look or sound like he is.

Child is on top of Thief and his pointy neck is moving and Child is moving on Thief. Child looks less naughty and more happy now, and Thief has a very peculiar look on his face. You think that the nice part of this thing that they are doing is that they can touch each other all over and very very close. You like Thief touching you, even with his feet. Thief touching you feels even more right than Child touching you, even though she is your Child. They are both making noises now, like words but not words. You wonder if you would have liked to do this with Thief when you had a body. You are not sure. You know that this thing is to do with love, and you do love your Thief, but perhaps it is not the right type of love for this. There are different kinds. Thief is on top of child now and he is breathing very fast but not because he is running or crying or scared. He has his eyes shut but Child does not. Child is looking at his face. You do not blame her because you like looking at his face, all his faces, they are all so special and so nice. Sometimes you hear the Strays say that his faces and handsome or pretty. They are right but they mean it in the wrong way. His faces are different and they are  _all_ very very handsome and very very pretty. Of course they are, they are Thief's face. Now, Thief's face is all scrunched and tight and squeaking. Child has one of her hands in her hair. One hand is going down his back, leaving a red mark of her nails.  _Don't hurt him! Don't you dare hurt him!_ And Thief makes an angry noise but then he looks at her happy and he is still moving and you do not think Child was really hurting him, just pretend. Child always has good nails which is strange because she does digging. There are lots of things about Child you do not understand.

Thief's face goes even more scrunched and small, and then he breathes loud and his face unscrunches and his face goes next to Child's neck. Child looks up at your ceiling with a big happy face. Her hand goes down his back again but no red mark this time. Her hair is even bigger than normal. Thief takes his face out from her neck and Child looks at him with her happy happy face. Thief looks happy too but also tired. They have a long kiss. Then Thief stops being on top of Child and is next to her. Child moves so her shoulder is touching his and her big hair is on…oh, what's it called? They're like legs but at the top of his hand. You had them once, too. Thief and Child are both still breathing very fast and Child is laughing a bit. Thief's face and his nothing-on-top look more red than they do most mornings when he gets dressed. They breathe together. You watch them. When Orange and Pretty do this, they cling on to each other for a long time. It is a different type of touching to the other thing, although it is still very close and very happy and nice. Often Orange and Pretty fall asleep like that. Or sometimes Pretty goes to the kitchen to make a cup of tea for them both. Once or twice Thief has got bored, or got himself into trouble and has yelled for them. He doesn't like it when they go away from him. Pretty says he is bored, Child says he is vain, Orange says he is lonely. They are all right. Orange and Pretty ignore him at first but then they put their clothes back on and come to help Thief. Orange and Pretty are asleep now. It is often when Orange and Pretty are asleep that Thief visits Child. Especially after they got married and Child was locked away and now she Thief kiss a lot. Do Orange and Pretty not like Child kissing Thief? Do Orange and Pretty not like Thief kissing Child? Orange kissed Thief once but now she ony kisses Pretty. It is better that way. You do not understand why Thief keeps kissing Child secret. Sometimes he is a sneaky Thief. Child is Orange and Pretty's Child as well as yours. Pretty talks to you about it sometimes. He is sad. You hum to him and show him nice orange lights to make him not sad. Sometimes it even works.

Thief and Child are talking now, in soft voices. This is unusual because neither of them use soft voices very much at all. Maybe their voices are tired after the other noises. They were both quite loud, after all. Child rolls towards Thief and curls herself against him. Se kisses the corner of his nothing-on-top and then her fingers draw on his nothing-on-top. His skin is becoming white again. He looks happy. He also has the face when he does something good. You don't know what it is called but sometimes Child likes it and sometimes it makes her a bit angry. But it is the sort of angry Thief likes. Thief and Child are very strange together. And very funny. Thief wraps his hand-leg around Child tighter and puts his face into her hair, and then on top of it. He is happy. Child is happy. You dim the lights.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for your time. Please leave a review, and have a great week.


End file.
